Sunday, 29 July 2012

The Parable of the Mustard Seed - Thank you Kim x

  Today at St Michael's Church  Kim read to the children from (Matt. 13:31-32) "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches"

Have you ever seen a mustard seed? The mustard seed is the smallest of all seeds.  Even though the mustard seed is  small when it is planted in the ground, it grows into a tree large enough for birds to stand on its branches and to make their nests in it. We laughed as Kim asked if any of us had planted a seed only to find that it had not grown in the way we thought it should. 

I have never had green fingers and have either found that I have chosen the wrong time to plant the seed or the wrong location. Sometimes in my eagerness I have over watered the plant or given it the wrong food. In my attempt to keep things in order I have trimmed and shaped or tied the plant in an effort to make it grow against a certain wall because that's how I had imagined it in my mind only to find that by doing this  the plant became unhappy and sought its own direction into the light or simply shriveled up leaving me wondering why I bothered trying in the first place and wondering what I had done wrong.
 It made me think today about timing, location and only helping when needed. In my home life as a parent timing is everything - I know intuitively when to approach my children and get them to listen .I know too that if I try  restricting them or overpowering them they will rebel and choose their own path.
 I used to teach practical parenting classes and enjoyed hearing all the many parenting styles . I guess the parable is there to tell us that God can only do so much and that there comes a time when we have to take action ourselves choosing the right time, the right place and the right location. As a parent it is just the same and now as I begin in business I discover that in order for it to grow I need patience and time too, I also need to listen and learn from others to help when needed but give them the chance to choose from the dark or the light dependent upon their needs in their own time.
 I find for me that attending church has kept me learning , whilst my life is busy I do make the time to read with my children and we learn together .I choose to spend my time on a Sunday learning and sharing so I hope you do not mind me blogging about it today. I enjoyed the parable as much now as when I was a child and came home and felt I had to write about the feeling it gave me. After all life is meaningless without feelings and shared thoughts. 
So what did I feel - I felt comforted and content knowing that we don't always get the timing right, we don't always pick the right starting point but that with help and the right support anything can grow just like the mustard seed . It also made me realise that whilst everyone likes the idea of heaven itself being a wonderful place and we all know our timing will come we have a lot of time on earth with a lot of choices to make and heaps of possibilities to plant and nurture our very own mustard seeds x

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Prosopagnosia and my need to be busy V need to be helpful

Prosopagnosia in my case is  the inability to recognise people when they are seen out of context - for example a nurse not in her uniform or a teacher not at the school - leaving me wondering how they can recognise and remember who I am when to me whilst it is obvious that we must have met before when they call me by name.  I have no idea who they are without longer time to process additional information and look for clues unless they outright tell me Oh I am so and so from .. I realised when talking to my son who has a confirmed diagnosis of Aspergers that her too suffers from it and we had a lovely chat about how amazing it is that other people can simply look at a face without the additional clues and just recognise who that person is and even name them . It was lovely to have a connection with him and to share stories . Sometimes hiding our disabilities or differences makes us feel better , but the older I get and the more I deal with new people on a day to day basis the more I find myself having to explain about he challenges I face.
 I consider myself a student observer of people I am always seeking those extra clues to try and from a memory in my mind to help me recollect who they are not by their faces but by what they wear or what they tell me . I am fascinated by what others can do and how they do it . I enjoy helping others far more than doing anything for myself. I have stepped into a world of networking and face the regular challenge of association of faces and names .
I was asked recently why I work .. My answer  came that 'I need to be busy '. In reality I think it is deeply routed in that I need a challenge a goal to keep me grounded . I need to be learning about people everyday so that I can help and feel needed . I have possibly been like that since early childhood defined by my ability to be of use to others .  I don't have huge career goals or deadlines or stress of that kind. I am at my best when I have done something that I have difficulty with , overcoming  difficulty , fighting the struggle, researching the obstacle not for myself but in order to help someone else .
 I think perhaps that is why when I find something that helps me , a book, a product, a song, a feeling or a thought I am compelled to share it . Sometimes I think it must drive my family nuts that I seem to be forever researching but every now and then when I can help with something it is hugely rewading . You cannot buy a feeling , and there is no price on self worth , so simply the feeling of being needed, having helped and being connected to a sometimes overwhelming outside world is all I need.
On that note I am off for a much needed nap as I had an unpleasant afternoon in hospital having biopsies and need to catch up so that I can enjoy a networking picnic tomorrow with my younger 3 kids - it made me laugh when they asked will they know anyone there . I view it is a brand new opportunity to learn and get to know people a challenge - how different it must be  for my children who  crave knowing if a familiar face will be there in order to to  look forward to something  - do write to me as I am very curious about how you experience your world . 

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Keep on shining

Bev who showed us how to crochet.
Karen showing Chloe some of her amazing artwork.
We have had a very busy couple of weeks, my daughter had her 12th birthday and I went along to her annual parade and inspection . It was a lovely sunny afternoon and the girls looked very smart indeed and it was great to hear the bagpipes and band and watch the marching. My 16 yr old had his prom so I went off to buy his prom outfit with him and felt very prod as he boarded the double decker bus with his friend for such a fun evening. My 11 year old had his end of year Disco and he adores Johny English so we set about hunting down a suitable 'costume' so he cold look like his 'hero'. He came home last night pleased as punch that everyone loved his outfit.  I have also been busy homeschooling my 7 yr old , we managed a sensory visit at this years London excel Autism show and came away with lots of ideas.
We finally got our education otherwise pack and have buckled down to enjoy some time together. This included a trip to the newly opened Lounge in Fareham for networking mummies. Where we enjoyed taking part in some amazing art and met a lovely lady who will be showing us how to make crochet and knitted hair accesories on a mum an daughter event over the Summer.
 I also went along for a cupcake making course with the Camberley Mummies group and met some talented artists who create the most beautiful cake art . I came away having decorated 3 cakes and my children were very excited to see and taste the resulting artwork.
Cake decorating with pampered chef Leonie.
On a health front I have been back to hospital for my transit study , been for more blood results, ct scans, mri and xrays. But no real news as yet. But I am able to set my own pace and rest or nap when I need to and this makes me a lot happier as I learn to adjust my expectations.
Today I am off to help out at my local church facepainting . I took a facepainting course several years ago and as a youth and young adult did back stage make-up for many productions right up until I was 26. My daughter who is now 15 spent many a night back stage sleeping in her moses basket as I bobbed in and out with make up and props. Of course now she has learned to do my make up and her brother has just finished his hairdressing course so I get the pampering these days .
Well I best go and get myself moving , hope you are all having a fun weekend . If you are on facebook pop over to my page where I post more regularly with home made fingerpaint recipes, energy muffin recipes and even home made facepaints .. I am always looking for ways to save money, time and keep my house chemical free .